Hi Everyone! So, glad you stopped by! Pull up a chair, grab some coffee, get comfy and let’s chat. There are times in my day, I wish I could call a girlfriend and share the unscripted uncut messy details of my day and the lessons I am learning from these experiences. I don’t have perfect days. Some days are a hot mess and others turn out to be much better. I don’t know all the answers. I am still figuring it out. I know each day will have it’s set of challenges and triumphs and I try to embrace them both with an open heart and a positive attitude. Someday’s I loose my Jesus a little and find him all over again in a moment of surrender and trading in my strength for HIS. You will need Patience, Love, Grace, Determination and the resolve to make mistakes. Embrace every bit of your journey, I hear it goes by quickly! So, come with me on this journey and let’s talk about life lessons, motherhood, parenting, homeschool and my walk with the Lord in the process of Becoming.
Waiting is no easy task. It takes guts, it takes courage, it takes character. I hate waiting. Now, I must say, It’s not so bad waiting when things are “pleasant in the wait,” or you are totally confident that what you are waiting for is going to be Amazing! Waiting is tolerable, convenient, and may even create some excitement for you, but for me, this period of waiting has come at seemingly the most inconvenient time and place. It’s not comfortable pleasant nor exciting. I know, what you are thinking “don’t hate the wait.” Its catchy and maybe encouraging if you are waiting a day, a week, a month, 6 months or even a year, but what about waiting for years for what you have been praying for. That type of waiting stirs up all kinds of emotions and I think to myself “will the answer to that prayer ever come?”
My story of motherhood is not one of rainbows and butterflies.
I wasn’t the mother that dreamed of being a mother all her life. I didn’t really give it much thought…I know, don’t stone me. Motherhood kind of crept up on me and I can’t say that I was very prepared mentally or emotionally for it. I just kind of learned as I went along. I made a lot of mistakes and there was a time that I thought my kids bring me so much frustration and I did not see or experience much joy in being a mother. I really did not understand the gift and treasure I was given. I thank the Lord for His patience with me. It‘s through my journey as a mother that I have seen the best part of me and worst part of me, and that’s when the true transformation began.
Next to them we felt like grasshoppers, and that’s what they thought, too! (Numbers 13:33 NLT)
Next to them we were as grasshoppers … That could preach, right? And it has… lol
I was reading through Number recently and the verse above from chapter 13 gripped me unlike anytime before. I often hear this verse used to highlight the children of Israel and their lack of faith in their God, but today, the text really spoke directly to an area in which I struggle; my perception of myself.
“I don’t have to beat those trucks, they are going a different place than I am”. That was my response to my child’s eager request to go faster mommy so we can pass and beat that truck. That statement struck me deeply as I mediated over the profound truth that I discovered.
I had spent all my life with what I call, a case of mistaken identity (a situation in which I thought a particular person, aka, me was someone else). Yes, and for many of us, the same is true. We have identified ourselves through the lens of lies and experiences the enemy throws our way. It started in 5th grade for me.
I was scared and anxious about something that wasn’t even my reality yet. The thoughts consumed me of woulda, shoulda, coulda’s. This was new, unchartered waters for our family. New place, new people, new culture, new language, new food, new everything. My inner super planner self was freaking out. Not knowing how things were going to turn out was quite scary. My mind was going crazy and overload with fears. I needed my to-do-list in order to start checking things off so I could have some control of how my life is going to turn out.
Today, it became very evident that GOD hears and answers prayers. After a conversation, I had with my brother and sister in law, I was sure they were in my prayer closet that very week. At the time, I was battling being a homemaker and homeschool Mom. My season of pursuing a career had ended as I felt strongly the Lord wanted me home with the kiddos. This was quite a challenge because I had little knowledge of homeschooling. In fact, I attempted homeschooling our first born for one school semester and it was an epic failure; at the end of the day my son and I were both in tears and feeling great frustration. I came to the conclusion that homeschooling wasn’t meant for our family because it took special skills and an abundance of patience to pull that gig off however, even while feeling inadequate, I found myself saying “Yes” to the Lord for the task at hand this time around.
So, I had a bit of a meltdown situation this week🙆. I was crying, stressed, overwhelmed and discouraged about motherhood and raising godly kids. You know the mundane stuff; cleaning, cooking, correcting, diapers, dishes, and basically repeating oneself over and over about the same things everyday🙇. Can anyone relate? I don’t have them very often so I try to find the reason or lesson behind this ordeal.
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed (1 Peter 1:6-7).
There are days when I wake up and I feel as though my children had some type of supernatural encounter because they are behaving like angels😇. They help me make breakfast, they start the coffee pot for me, they have completed their morning routine without any reminders, they are not fussing with each but actually helping each other and being extra nice (at this point I am a little suspicious 🧐😉) like where are my real children…lol.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1: 2-4).
Through my struggles I am constantly reminded by the Lord that I am being forged by fire. So, I take on life with a new attitude and unique prospective … I welcome challenges and struggles. Yes, that’s right! The obstacles in my life are refining me so I am writing a letter…